A crying CEO, suspicious sororities & WeWork 2.0 👀🍿🧃
And how to harness a bunch of crows to defeat your enemies
Hi Wrecklings! Hope this finds you safe from contaminated oat milks and Capri Suns!
Thanks to the magic of Twitter, I was just clued into the existence of BabyLand General Hospital— the birthplace of Cabbage Patch Kid Dolls— which is a bizarre brand experience described in this very in-depth piece here.
So uh, now back to our regularly scheduled programming of less-creepy things:
“QAnon Conspiracy Theorists Have a New Cure-All: $120,000 TVs”- This. Is. Absolute. Insanity.
“The Crypto Geniuses Who Vaporized a Trillion Dollars”- Settle in with your favorite snack and beverage for this one Wrecklings, it is a read.
“CEO Posted Crying Selfie After Layoffs To Show Execs Are ‘Normal People’ Too”- CEOs: they have feelings, just like us!
“How to Befriend Crows and Turn Them Against Your Enemies”- This article is a work of art, highly recommended reading.
“'Working at Yeezy Gap is gonna be hell!' Kanye West is roasted online for selling new collection in TRASH BAGS as fans complain after having to 'dig through everything'“- I mean, as someone that spent an entire summer folding and refolding t-shirt tables at Old Navy, dumping clothes back into their giant garbage bag things seems significantly less annoying…
“Zoey Deutch and Quinn Shephard on Booking That Caroline Calloway Cameo in ‘Not Okay’”- While we just watched the recently-released Caroline Calloway documentary, still on the fence about whether Not Okay is worth a watch.
“Joe Exotic Reveals a '90 Day Fiancé' Connection That He Hopes Will Secure Pardon from President Biden”- I feel like Joe Exotic should probably put his faith in a Z-list celebrity that’s actually an American citizen, but what do I know.
“a16z says ‘WeBack’ to WeWork’s Neumann with its biggest check ever”- We featured Adam raising $70M for his blockchain company in May which was then put on ice in July because of the crypto winter. Aaand now this…
“The disgraced founder of Papa Johns says the company is making worse pizzas without his 'conservative values' of 'truth and God'“- Funny, I’m finding the pizza way better without those as toppings.
“Tesla Delivered A Brand New $131k Model X Plaid With Mismatched Tires”- Props to this dude, I admittedly probably wouldn’t have immediately noticed all the issues… whoops.
“Paranoia and Pastels at Bama Rush”- This article reminds me of the book Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities, which is an insane read.
“Who Told Nick Viall He's Qualified to Give Relationship Advice For a Living?”- THIS. YEP.
Like Fyre Fest on the backend: After seeing a weird tweet from Emo Nite about an event in New Orleans being in flux, I stumbled upon learning that while events-startup Pollen raised $150M in April of this year, they’ve already announced bankruptcy (or “administration” as the Brits say). The company has missed payroll and now there are some red flags on where money had actually gone… like founders flying around in private jets and hosting a lavish birthday party. Former employees are also now taking to TikTok with their stories.
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“Copy-paste error results in Nevada homebuyer getting 87 properties for the price of one home”- This sounds like a spin-off of Arrested Development waiting to happen.
“Six Flags CEO draws ire over remarks about avoiding attracting 'Walmart customers' and saying discounted tickets turned parks into 'cheap day care for teenagers”'- This comes on the heels of TikTok causing Six Flags to get rid of the unlimited dining pass. Buzzkill.
“Why Everyone Is Talking About ‘Puddle Kid’”- Puddle kid is all of us. With polio being found in NYC water, I of course, mean that strictly metaphorically.
“Michelle Branch Files For Divorce On Heels Of Cheating Allegations, Arrest”- For those that need a reminder, no Michelle isn’t the one that played a piano while going down a road (that’s Vanessa Carlton) but we protect Michelle as an OG early 2000s fave.
I might regret saying this, but not all acts of violence are the same. I'm not condoning Michelle Branch's actions here, but domestic violence is a pattern of behavior that is used to gain power and control over an intimate partner. That doesn't appear to be what happened here.so if i'm reading this right... black keys guy cheated on michelle branch with his manager while they have a six-month-old baby, then michelle branch slapped him a couple of times over it so he called the cops on her and got her booked for domestic assault? this is nuts.
Marlow Stern @MarlowNYC“Cryptocurrency's own 'Bernie Madoff'? Inside WILD world of former Disney child star-turned-crypto billionaire who founded controversial Tether coin”- I wouldn’t be surprised if this story became a documentary, and I’m here for it. It’d be great if they could also feature Razzlekhan— the (garbage) Youtube rapper-turned-$4B-heist-suspect.
“‘No pronouns necessary’: New conservative dating app features Kayleigh McEnany’s sister—and Peter Thiel”"- It pains me to my core but I have to admit that the name of this app is hilariously brilliant. BRB, going to launch an app called All That’s Left (hi, it me). 🥁💥
More Serious Stories
We realize some of these can be triggering for some readers, so feel free to skip!
“California Dermatologist Arrested After Husband Allegedly Catches Her Poisoning Him with Drano”
“Nicki Minaj’s New Song Is Awful. Where Does She Go From Here?”
“WWE discloses another $5 million in McMahon payments, delays earnings report”
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P.S. While we’re obsessed with these stories, we don’t endorse any of these insane behaviors. 💋