Big Mac flotsam, Outlook goes to space & a weaponized tarantula 👀🍿🧃

Hi Wrecklings!

This week has me unplugging for the first time in years- send lots of R&R vibes my way, please!

• “Thieves stole 96 bananas from Wawa in Montgomery County, police say”

• “Microsoft denies Copilot is only for entertainment purpose, after its own document says do not trust AI”

• “The McDonald’s CEO Blamed His Tiny Bite Fiasco on His Mother”

• “Taylor Swift’s ‘Showgirl’ Merch Under Fire in Trademark Fight”

• “‘The Housemaid’ author Freida McFadden reveals true identity after living double life for 23 years”

• “Michigan bakery’s ‘creepy’ lamb cake goes viral: ‘Not prepared for the demand’”

• “After 50 Years, Some Hudson River Fish Can Be Eaten Again”

• “Gay hookup app Grindr to host its first ‘White House Dinner Correspondents party’”

• “LGBTQ+ leaders in Oakland and SF denounce Philz Coffee’s removal of Pride flags”

• “A True Crime Toy Story: Deputies Recover $1 Million Lego Haul”

• “Scientists Tracking the Microplastic Pollution Just Realized They Were Measuring Their Own Lab Gloves”

• “Why are bags of Big Mac sauce washing up along the Bay of Fundy?”

• “Houston man sues Whataburger for allegedly putting onions on his burger”

• “Hershey to resume using chocolate in most products; Reese’s grandson may taste sweet victory”

• “Dad who bought ‘Temu Range Rover’ due to affordable price wants it recalled after two weeks”

• “‘Everyone got a good laugh out of it’: Welfare check on elderly resident leads Westlake Police to a surprise”

• “RollerCoaster Tycoon YouTuber builds ride lasting 194 quattorseptuagintillion years”

• “How Allbirds went from a $2.2 billion IPO to a $39 million flop”

• “Political candidate who tossed tarantula at Airbnb tenant found guilty at trial”

• “Red Lobster Might Bring Back ‘Endless Shrimp’ After It Led to Millions in Losses”

• “‘Survivor’ Style Corporate Retreat Descends Into Hellish Nightmare”

• “New England Patriots’ Mike Vrabel and top NY Times NFL reporter Dianna Russini hold hands and hug at luxury hotel”

• “Texas woman sentenced to 6 years in prison for mailing inmates Bibles soaked with drugs”

• “Japanese crowdfunded $340k game still missing half its funds as platform claims it accidentally sent the money elsewhere”

• “FEMA official says he’s teleported several times, including to Waffle House”

• “Artemis II astronaut finds two Outlook instances running on computers, calls on Houston to fix Microsoft anomaly — puzzled caller describes ‘two Outlooks, and neither one of those are working’”

• “After layoffs, Fortnite’s future is shakier than it has ever been”

• “Some Alabama residents learn they haven’t had fluoride in their water for years”

• “Sam Altman May Control Our Future—Can He Be Trusted?”

• “For the first time ever, Amazon is cutting old Kindles off from the Kindle Store”

• “Pakistani man arrested on suspicion of smuggling 270kg of stimulants into Japan”

• “OkCupid gave 3 million dating-app photos to facial recognition firm, FTC says”

• “Thieves steal Renoir, Cézanne and Matisse paintings worth millions from Italian museum”

• “SF chocolate company recalls products for being spiked with Viagra ingredients”

• “Jordan’s Furniture avoids $50 million payout after UConn women’s Final Four loss”

• “Oracle hires new CFO with $950K salary as thousands face layoffs”

• “NBC Apologizes for Mistake Showing the Wrong Tiger Woods Car Crash During Broadcast”

• “Mamdani announces HungryPanda will pay $875K for overcharging for deliveries”

• “Christian Metalcore Singer Magdalene Rose Facing Church Boycotts On Upcoming Tour For Being Too Heavy”

• “The U.S. faces an air traffic controller shortage. It’s turning to gamers for help.”

• “Nobody wants ads on their fridge”

• “Read the email Oracle is sending to laid-off employees”

• “Social gaming platform Rec Room, once valued at $3.5B, is shutting down”

• “Millions of UK iPhone users locked into “child by default” mode in age verification debacle”

• “Kristi Noem’s Husband Allegedly Told Model His Wife Was Having Affair with Her Adviser: ‘There’s Nothing I Can Do About It’”

• “Doritos at US$7 a bag ended up costing PepsiCo billions”

• “Another CBSA dog sniffs out kilos of raw meat in traveller’s bag at Pearson airport”

• “Fears of UK and EU flight cancellations as airports warn of jet fuel shortages”

• “Scientists are sounding alarm. An increasing number of CT ticks found to carry Lyme, other diseases”

• “Kimberly-Clark employee detained on suspicion of arson after massive Ontario warehouse fire”

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More Serious Stories

We realize some of these can be triggering for some readers, so feel free to skip! Also, sometimes we use weird letter subs so we’re not flagged as gross spam email.

• “LaGuardia controller staffing may have violated procedures on night of collision, document shows”

• “Founder of ‘0rgasmic meditation’ company gets 9 years in prison in forced labor conspiracy”

• “Sam Altman’s sister amends lawsuit accusing OpenAI CEO of s3xual abuse”

• “Polymarket apologizes for allowing wagers on fate of U.S. pilots downed in Iran”

• “More Brits come forward as 1,700 fall ill and ‘eight die’ after visiting holiday hotspot”

• “TN bill bans content creators from featuring kids under 14 in videos that make money”

• “Report: US demands Reddit unmask ICE critic, summons firm to grand jury”

• “Human Skull Found During Easter Egg Hunt in California”

• “Coachella stage closes after stage light falls on attendee”

• “Half of sheriff’s office indicted on charges, including abuse of a corpse, authorities say”

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P.S. While we’re obsessed with these stories, we don’t endorse any of these insane behaviors. 💋