Blackmailed monks, Fyre Fest auction & surprise vroom vrooms 👀🍿🧃
Hi Wrecklings!
Apologies for missing last week—I'm prepping for a cross-country move and life’s a (good) mess. Also… did I accidentally find a boyfriend through my own platform?? So, if you’ve got single friends, spread the word—at least 5 other women have met people they’re genuinely excited about on Goblins. Surreal AF.
Now, back to regularly scheduled programming:
“Why the viral Sylvanian Drama soap operas have gone quiet online”
“Summer Associate’s Naughty Toddler Impression Gets Her Bounced From Biglaw”
“Anna Wintour’s Vogue And The Reckoning Of Fashion’s Last Empress”
“Eastman Credit Union apologizes for indecent act at Johnson City branch”
“Etsy Witches Charge for Jobs, Sunshine and Knicks Wins. Business Is Booming.”
“100 Owners Say This EV Has A Safety Issue Volvo Won’t Admit”
“Jeff Bezos Reportedly Buying Vogue as Lauren Sanchez’s Wedding Gift—& Anna Wintour Is Apparently ‘Brokering the Deal’”
“Thai woman arrested for blackmailing monks with thousands of videos after s3x”
“Astronomer CEO Andy Byron Placed on Leave After Couple Caught Together at Coldplay Concert and Chris Martin's 'Affair' Joke”
“The economy is turbulent for influencers, too — here's how you might see it online”
“Backstreet Boys’ Brian Littrell sues Florida sheriff’s office over beach trespassers”
“A company accused of scheming with Andrew Do is now suing him for $15 million”
“The MAGA 'mating call' is taking dating apps by storm. So WILL POTTER and ALEXA CIMINO put it to the test... and were stunned by the results”
“Perry Farrell Sues Jane’s Addiction Members Over Onstage Fight, Just Hours After They Sued Him”
“I Tried Grok’s Built-In Anime Companion and It Called Me a Tw@t”
More Serious Stories
We realize some of these can be triggering for some readers, so feel free to skip! Also, sometimes we use weird letter subs so we’re not flagged as gross spam email.
“Arizona man is killed while inside a hyperbaric chamber that caught fire”
“Police officer had s3x on duty with woman, after traffic stop”
“Connecticut paranormal investigator and Annabelle doll handler has died”
“Kevin Spacey Says ‘Release the Epstein Files’ After Being Cited in Epstein’s 2024 Unsealed Court Docs: ‘For Those of Us With Nothing to Fear, the Truth Can’t Come Soon Enough’”
“Influencer Emilie Kiser's husband could face felony child abuse charge in son's drowning death”
“Right-Wing Influencer Lauren Southern Accuses Andrew Tate of S3xual Assault”
“Over 5.2 million pools are under recall after reports of nine deaths”
“Pregnant Influencer Accuses Boyfriend of Cheating with Over ‘25 Women’: 'Literally Sickening'“
“Passenger arrested after allegedly trying to open exit door on SkyWest flight”
“Dentist Accused of Poisoning Wife with Laced Smoothie Allegedly Made Shocking 'Deepfake' Request of Daughter”
“Ex-Commissioner Sues, Saying Adams Ran N.Y.P.D. as a Criminal Enterprise”
“Extreme Sports Influencer Dies After Falling More Than 600 Feet Down a Mountain Hours After Sharing Final Instagram Post”
“Powerlifting Influencer Stefi Cohen Accused of Abuse — a Year After Allegedly Targeting Ex's New Girlfriend”
“Ex-Commissioner Sues, Saying Adams Ran N.Y.P.D. as a Criminal Enterprise”
“Lawsuit: Doctors play music bingo during surgery, allegedly leads to patient's death”
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P.S. While we’re obsessed with these stories, we don’t endorse any of these insane behaviors. 💋