Crypto-scented perfume, vegan donut imposters & sad Anna Delvey 👀🍿🧃
Hi Wrecklings!
Oh my goodness, it only took two years but guess who forgot to schedule today’s newsletterrrrr…
Ok, between Kate Middleton’s apparent-disappearance and the death of the Boeing whistleblower, I am fully rocking the tin foil hat this week.
“Long Island "Vegan" Bakery Caught Passing Dunkin' Donuts Off As Vegan and Gluten-Free”- Ok, what an unlikely supervillain thing to do.
“Binance made crypto perfume in a baffling attempt to woo women”- Tell me you don’t know how to market to women without telling me you don’t know how to market to women…
“'The Brady Bunch' house sold to a megafan for $2.3 million under asking. She still called it the 'worst investment ever' — see inside.”- I need this woman’s routines because she looks GREAT for her age.
“Midjourney bans all Stability AI employees over alleged data scraping”- Battle of the AIs
“Your Roku TV will be unusable if you don't agree to the company's new terms”- Love a good product brick.
“Champagne. Caviar. Bora Bora. Are You Not Entertained?”- I always think it’s so fascinating to see about whether these types of influencer trips are remotely worth the ROI for brands.
“Ground cinnamon sold at discount stores is tainted with lead, FDA warns”- How is this remotely ok?
“Pregnant fitness influencer kicked out of gym after owner’s wife complained about her outfit”- I was expecting at least something halfway indecent
“From farmhouse DIY content to faith: Why this Latter-day Saint influencer is now sharing her beliefs”- I admittedly immediately unfollowed after this pivot.
“UPDATE: Apple Reinstates Epic Developer Account After Public Backlash for Retaliation”- Surprising that they thought this would go over well.
“‘Sorry If Anyone Else Grows Up Like This’ — Daughter of Influencer Says She Hates Mom's Lifestyle”- Aww this makes me sad.
“Ex-str1pper who 'kissed' Duke of Sussex on Las Vegas night out during his wild party prince days threatens to leak pictures of him 'in the buff' on OnlyFans in revenge for being 'whitewashed' from his memoir”- The Royal Family is not having a good time this year.
“Anna Delvey files bid to end her 'draconian' house arrest, claiming she has suffered 'severe emotional distress and stress' during her 24/7 confinement in her $4,250-a-month NYC apartment”- Can’t believe I missed this so popping this in now.
“Colorado ranchers sentenced after tampering with rain gauges to increase crop subsidies”- The story really buries how a co-conspirator was found dead…
More Serious Stories
We realize some of these can be triggering for some readers, so feel free to skip! Also, sometimes we use weird letter subs so we’re not flagged as gross spam email.
“Florida Middle Schoolers Arrested for Allegedly Creating Deepfake Nud3s of Classmates”
“‘Rust’ Armorer Hannah Gutierrez Reed Guilty of Involuntary Manslaughter in Accidental Shooting”
“Newly sworn-in Florida deputy arrested for child pornography on first day”
“Death of Mitch McConnell's sister-in-law being investigated”
“A woman wins $3.8 million verdict after SWAT team searches wrong home based on Find My iPhone app”
“Annoying hospital beeps are causing hundreds of deaths a year”
“Many Chiefs fans who suffered frostbite at bitter cold playoff game need amputations”
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P.S. While we’re obsessed with these stories, we don’t endorse any of these insane behaviors. 💋