Duck, duck, layoff, a getaway poo & stolen apple snacks 👀🍿🧃

Hi Wrecklings!

This week has me pet sitting a cat that has a taste for human flesh, listening to a book about the cult of MLMs, and enjoying the /LinkedInLunatics subreddit.

• “Florida woman pooped on Family Dollar floor as accomplice ironically stole $500 worth of cleaning products: cops”- Um.

• “Influencer received backlash after revealing why she eats breakfast of raw meat and raw milk”- BB, you’re literally describing Darwinism.

• “Lawsuit: Allstate used GasBuddy and other apps to quietly track driving behavior”- Years ago a client filled me in on how car insurance companies will start using our health data to decline accident coverage and it sent chills down my spine.

• “LinkedIn sued for allegedly training AI models with private messages without consent”- Best to assume that no platform that’s free is protecting your data.

• “Mansion owner says Adele made his property unsellable with haunted house rumors”- Haunt the rich!

• “She Made Org@smic Meditation Her Life. Not Even Prison Will Stop Her.”- This was a wild read.

• “Holland & Barrett accused by startup Gusto of copying wonky apple snacks”- I hope this guy’s story gets more eyeballs because damn.

• “Influencer Is Told to ‘Grow Up’ After Sharing ‘Honest’ Review of Restaurant”- The only thing I know about this restaurant is related to them being dramatic.

• “Rise and Fall of Crypto Games — An Insider’s View”- Someday I’ll spill about the time I poorly doodled a cowboy and inspired a total client meltdown.

• “A Pulitzer-Winning War Photographer Allegedly Tried to Stop a Sundance Screening of a Doc About Him”- Truth time.

• “Roosevelt Elementary principal and teacher arrested after teen party”- They… what.

• “Stripe accidentally sent an image of a duck when notifying some employees they were getting laid off”- This is the worst timeline.

• “Elon Musk email to X staff: ‘we’re barely breaking even’”- The captain has finally noticed the ship is sinking.

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More Serious Stories

We realize some of these can be triggering for some readers, so feel free to skip! Also, sometimes we use weird letter subs so we’re not flagged as gross spam email.

• “California man s3xually assaults employee at Costco free sample station”

• “Teacher who ‘gave birth to 13-year-old’s baby’ was friends with his mom and acted as his guardian. What we know”

• “‘To everyone defending Elon, I want you to do it’: Woman challenges people to do Musk’s controversial ‘salute’ publicly — and one woman does”

• “Did Trump's executive order just make everyone in the U.S. female?”

• “Meta admits some people can’t unfollow Donald Trump on Instagram”

• “The Online P0rn Free-for-All Is Coming to an End”

• “Cruise line insists staff weren’t in Ku Klux Klan gear after fancy dress mishap”

• “Engaged Couple Found in Separate Rooms in Vietnam Villa Believed to Have Died from Tainted Limoncello”

• “Popular Houston social influencer arrested, released on $200K bond”

• “Influencer Found Dead at 30 in Abandoned Cleveland Home”

• “Influencer Dies at Age 45 After Going Under General Anesthesia for Back Tattoo Procedure”

• “Australian influencer charged with poisoning her baby”

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P.S. While we’re obsessed with these stories, we don’t endorse any of these insane behaviors. 💋