Hi Wrecklings! Drafting this while the news about Mar-a-Lago breaks and the reactions on Twitter are on-point, as always:

Marbury v. Mad Online @NickTagliaferro

give him his twitter back for the night. I wanna see

11:38 PM ∙ Aug 8, 2022

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2,367Likes190Retweets

Rick Wilson @TheRickWilson

It was a beautiful raid. A perfect raid. People tell me they've never seen such as perfect raid.

2:31 AM ∙ Aug 9, 2022

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135,353Likes15,473Retweets

Here’s this week’s article list, excuse me while I attempt to be clever with commentary while melting in this horrendous heatwave.

• “Billionaire’s Land Battle With Village Is ‘Parks and Rec’ Come to Life”- Yet another case for why we should eat the rich.

• “Tesla Wants You To Sit in a Wet Dumpster While Your Car Charges”- A few days ago I was making fun of this story but now with it being a billion degrees outside…

• “Yet ANOTHER American couple get ripped off at 'worst restaurant in Greece': Two beers, two cocktails and a dozen oysters come in at $560”- Those beverages are enormous (two das boots??) but still can’t figure out how that amounted to as much as it did.

• “French Scientist's Photo of ‘Distant Star’ Was Actually Chorizo”- Brilliant, no edits.

• “Cutting costs, merging, shelving Batgirl: is this the end of HBO Max?”- Wild that a $90M project can just be simply left on the cutting room floor…

Ben Rosen @ben_rosen

one cool thing about hbo max is how if you don’t type elmo fast enough your kid gets to learn about freddy krueger

2:12 PM ∙ Aug 8, 2022

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7,104Likes595Retweets

• “‘You Can Justify Everything’: I Became Addicted to ‘Buy Now, Pay Later’”- Objectively, Afterpay feels like something I’d have gotten into a sticky situation with in my college years.

• “Citizen Journalist Katharine McPhee Doesn't Feel Safe in Beverly Hills”- Oh look, the return of the tiniest ‘lil violin. 🎻

• “Heartbroken? TikTok breakup influencers are here to help.”- I’m not about yucking people’s yums (or favorite TikTok content) but publishing a video of yourself crying isn’t something I entirely understand.

• “One ruff interview: Lauren Boebert claims on Newsmax that Venezuelans have been reduced to eating DOGS because they 'don't have firearms' - and that Americans will be forced to do the same if Democrats take their guns away”- Hide your chihuahuas, hide your golden retrievers, and hide your husky, because they’re eating everyone up in here.

• “The Gathering of the Juggalos Returned to Raise Hell With a Smile”- Even though I’m terrified of clown-related things, this roster of events sounds *almost* worth tuning into“…the Bigfoot Seminar, about the existence of Bigfoot; the Miss Juggalette beauty pageant; a hot dog-eating contest; and Vampiro’s Spoken Word, about Mexican wrestling superstar Vampiro.”

More Serious Stories

We realize some of these can be triggering for some readers, so feel free to skip!

• “Ex-Scientologists Came Forward with Shocking Child Trafficking Claims. Now They Say They’re Being Stalked.”

• “Mastercard, Visa suspend ties with ad arm of P0r*hub owner MindGeek”

• “It took me 2 months to recover from working as a TikTok moderator. I made less than $7 an hour. Every day in the office, I would see my coworkers cry.”

• “Dane Cook, 50, is accused of inviting girls 'as young as FOURTEEN' to 'game night' parties at his mansion: Fiancée Kelsi Taylor, 23, was first spotted at one of the bashes when she was 17”

• “UPS Refuses to Install Air Conditioning in 150-Degree Delivery Trucks”

• “Celebs Ripped for Asking for Prayers for Anne Heche”

• “Woman, 37, reveals how she found out her dad was a secret sp3rm donor who has fathered 'possibly 100 siblings' - and her lesbian cult-leader mother only told her after fearing she was dating her half-brother”

• ““This Phony, Bizarre Sphere”: Jennette McCurdy’s Shocking Final Days at Nickelodeon”- Word is out in articles like this Yahoo recap that Dan Schneider is the man referenced in Jennette’s piece— and the below Twitter thread calls out an insanely vicious character portrayal inspired by Britney.

  

  matt @mattxiv

  while we’re talking about dan schneider, i’d like to discuss how he used britney spears’ fame to create zoey 101, only to turn around and mock her mental health and motherhood on icarly 5 years later. a thread.

  

  

  3:39 PM ∙ Aug 8, 2022

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  39,951Likes3,883Retweets

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P.S. While we’re obsessed with these stories, we don’t endorse any of these insane behaviors. 💋