Elmo trauma dumps, free the Fish Bandit & a NSFW popcorn bucket 👀🍿🧃

Hi Wrecklings!

This week had Elmo finding out about existential/adult crises (had to google the plural of crisis for this one).

• “‘Dune: Part 2’ is going viral for its sandworm replica popcorn bucket that some joke is NSFW”- How did this pass even the initial design stage?

• “Taylor Swift fans ‘scammed’ by pop star’s merchandise store, blame Universal Music Group”- But how else will she afford all her private jet flights?

• “Many remote employees have 'no attachment' to their work, and no passion or creativity, the CEO of cosmetics giant L'Oreal says”- It costs nothing to stay quiet about these opinions.

• You’d think quality control would be a priority:

  • “Toyota warns 50,000 US vehicle owners to stop driving, get immediate repairs”

  • “Alaska Airlines plane may have left Boeing factory without bolts to secure door plug: report”

  • “Woman says her Kia has been stolen 3 times, even after the security upgrade”

• “Security News This Week: 23andMe Failed to Detect Account Intrusions for Months”- Not a good look.

• “Drew Barrymore Joked That She's Giving Up On Dating Apps After A Guy Lied To Her About Being An NFL Quarterback”- Lovely to see that even celebs have a hard time with online dating.

• “Stanley and other drink cups contain lead. Should you be worried?”- Mmmm ya?

• “Subway Might Be Regretting Its New Meat Slicers”- Literally I’d never ever have expected actual deli meat to be sliced if I’m at a Subway.

• “Britney Spears fans, Justin Timberlake battle on iTunes charts with respective 'Selfish' songs”- Also worth reading this absolutely brutal review of JT’s new song.

• “‘Free the Fish Bandit’ Cries Ring Out After Teen Arrested for Taping Fish to ATMs, Cop Cars, and More”- This kid’s my hero.

• “Walkers’ mini poppadoms are crisps in all but name, judges rule”- I’d love to be the one making these determinations.

• “"Money Comes Money Goes": Salt Bae Shares $108,000 Receipt, Sparks Anger Online”- How is this man still a thing.

• “Woman gives birth in McDonald's parking lot, nicknames newborn son 'McFlurry'“- A+ puns here.

• “Teen in court over Snapchat ‘joke’ that caused fighter jets to flank packed plane”- This makes me think of the time a Match Group publicist ruined her life with an equally dumb tweet.

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More Serious Stories

We realize some of these can be triggering for some readers, so feel free to skip! Also, sometimes we use weird letter subs so we’re not flagged as gross spam email.

• “Georgia's stolen children: Twins sold at birth reunited by TikTok video”“US marshals lure fugitive killer of Texas cyclist out of hiding with yoga ad”

• “Prisoners in the US are part of a hidden workforce linked to hundreds of popular food brands”

• “Woman, 33, who stabbed her date 100 times to death in weed-induced frenzy is sentenced to 100 HOURS community service - as judge says she 'had no control over her actions' after cannabis caused 'psychotic break'“

• “25-Year-Old Dancer with Severe Peanut Allergy Dies After Eating Incorrectly Labeled Cookies”

• “WWE founder Vince McMahon resigns after ex-employee’s lawsuit accuses him of s3xual assault, trafficking”

• “‘Disrespectful and demeaning’: Influencers say they were offered payment to create sexually suggestive videos to promote a book”

• “The Damage- Mass layoffs at Microsoft mean workers have to pick up the pieces”

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P.S. While we’re obsessed with these stories, we don’t endorse any of these insane behaviors. 💋