Evangelical Christian furries, wind turbine gummy bears & less shitty Meta(verse)👀🍿🧃

And now an algorithm is picking who gets laid off...

Hi Wrecklings! The Anarchists is on our watch list for this week— a fascinating a documentary detailing how an anarchist convention (the irony) turned into a crypto conference. Also anyone else feeling like this week is treating them like Belle Isle’s Giant Slide?

Eric Champnella @champnella

I think I got a concussion just watching these clips of people going down the Belle Isle D̶e̶a̶t̶h̶ Giant Slide.

• “Chipotle's 'Water' Cup Candle Smells Like Stolen Lemonade”- GENIUS, these marketers deserve all the cookies.

• “An influencer is being investigated by Chinese authorities after followers accused her of eating a great white shark in a video, reports say”- I’m not about to get cancelled for suggesting eating sharks is a good idea, but there have been A TON of them hanging around the Cape.

• The layoffs continue across tech:

  • “I'm one of the 800 Peloton employees losing their jobs. After massive layoffs in February, I've spent every day of the last 6 months wondering which shift would be my last — now I know.”

  • “Working With Elon Musk: 'If You Were Getting Micromanaged By Elon, You Were Probably On Your Way Out'“

  • “Now Meta starts laying off workers: Facebook terminates 60 contractors who were told in video conference that they were chosen 'at random' by an algorithm to get fired - just days after Apple got rid of recruitment staff”

Ryan Mac 🙃 @RMac18

Wow. Mark Zuckerberg basically got cyberbullied so much over his company’s metaverse graphics that he announced an update.

• “I bought an Amazon return pallet for $473 — here are the 215 surprises inside”- As someone who has always been weirdly fascinated by storage unit auctions, this feels right up the same alley.

• “Chinese Discount Retailer Miniso Is Sorry for Pretending to Be Japanese”- This certainly falls under the category of “Marketing & PR Don’t-Evers”

• “Kim Kardashian Filmed An ‘Invasive’ Video While Driving With North West And Penelope Disick In The Backseat And People Are Outraged”- Outraged is a strong word, but it’s impressive how annoying KimK can be.

• “Blockchain Guy Struggles to Explain a Single Practical Use for Web3”- With a16z just having just invested $350M in Adam Neumann’s WeWork 2.0, they’re just full of bad choices recently.

• “Finland asks: Does a prime minister have a right to party?”- Hell yeah she does.

• “Welcome to Occlupanid Land”- 1) This was written by my Internet friend who once had Mike Tyson pretend to bite his ear off. 2) There’s a Breadit subreddit, which is totally separate from the classification of bread clips

Jeremy Glass @CandyandPizza

I'll never forget the time Mike Tyson pretended to bite my ear off.

• “The woman accused of stealing Pelosi's laptop gets to attend Renaissance Faire”- This woman does not deserve to be eating roasted turkey legs in the free world, IMHO.

Eliza Orlins @elizaorlins

Riley Williams, accused of stealing Pelosi's laptop, was given permission to leave house arrest to attend a Renaissance fair. As a public defender, I represented a teenager who wasn't given permission to leave jail to go to his dad's funeral. Two. Systems. Of. Justice.

• “Girl behind ‘Girl Explaining’ meme says she has a new boyfriend now”- It’s always interesting to see the story behind the faces of memes, like the Vogue profile about “Ermahgerd Gersberms” girl.

• “Martin Shkr3li is using Google Docs to find women who f**k on the first date”- Because we can always rely on Martin to reinvent rock bottom.

• “Here’s Everything You Need To Know About The Rumored Feud Between Florence Pugh And Olivia Wilde”- The shade Florence throws on this one is 🔥🔥.

• “Wind turbine blades could be recycled into gummy bears, scientists say”- We’re already finding microplastics in human bloodstreams but this will definitely end well.

• “Evangelical Christian furries are worried they’ll be targeted for their faith”- Furries judging other people for their lifestyles wasn’t something I saw coming.

• “Sanas, the buzzy Bay Area startup that wants to make the world sound whiter”- The fact this startup raised $32M makes me so grouchy.

• 🔏“The days of brands jumping into TikTok song trends are over, as record label lawsuits begin to stack up”- It’s always great to be the brand doing things first, except in a (legal) case like this. Womp.

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More Serious Stories

We realize some of these can be triggering for some readers, so feel free to skip!

• “Gravity Payments CEO Dan Price resigns”

• ‘Famed Yoga School Was Allegedly a Cult That Recruited ‘Geishas’ for S3x Trafficking”

• “Amanda Knox's ex Raffaele Sollecito speaks out ahead of Meredith Kercher documentary - as he reveals he is 'still bitter' about four-year prison sentence”

• “The women of DentureTok are fighting stigma — and creepy f3tishists”

• “Netflix Exposes Suspected Murderer John McAfee’s Madness”

• “Misogynistic Influencer @ndr3w T@te Has Been Banned From Instagram And Facebook”

• “Women in Ohio Are Using TikTok to Warn Each Other About Br0ck Turn3r”

• “Schizophrenic influencers feel abandoned by TikTok”

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P.S. While we’re obsessed with these stories, we don’t endorse any of these insane behaviors. 💋