Steroid Olympics, fake belly buttons & a falsely accused bird 👀🍿🧃

Hi Wrecklings!

For those of you that follow me on Instagram, you’ll know that I have a one-sided feud with Liquid Death (perfect example of how white men can get funding for everything). Now I’m mad because they’ve officially made other brands feel like they can do the most unacceptable batshit things in the name of marketing. I’m only not hiding the name so y’all can avoid them :) unless hair in a bag is your thing:

• “WeWork’s Co-Founder Is Trying to Buy the Company”- I’d like to have dinner with Adam Neumann and Billy McFarland and just listen to their conversation.

• “Finance worker pays out $25 million after video call with deepfake ‘chief financial officer’”- Any time I have a bad day, I think about how it could always be worse.

• “Wellness influencers fueled pandemic misinformation. Now they have another big conspiracy in their sights”- Uhhhh. Admittedly I don’t follow health influencers so have missed this entirely.

• “Influencer gets fake belly button tattoo — to make herself look taller”- Fashion will never not be weird.

• “Peter Thiel invests in group to recreate the Olympics on steroids — literally”- Ok, but also, then can we get a regular person competing for perspective?

• “A Couple Went Viral. Then the Internet Started Digging”- This wasn’t a shocking revelation, her nickname is Pooky.

• “Pigeon Was Cleared of Being a Chinese Spy, but Served 8 Months Anyway”- Well, birds aren’t real anyway, so.

• “130 poisonous frogs found hidden in suitcase in Colombia airport; woman now charged”- So glad this lil dudes are all ok.

• “Universal Music Group to remove songs from TikTok after failing to reach deal”- This feels like a game of chicken between two behemoths with a symbiotic relationship but ok.

• “NJ shelter offers to name feral cat after your ex and neuter them for Valentine’s Day”- An epic remix of the cockroach campaign.

• “Do you have 'TikTok voice'? It's OK if you don't want to get rid of it”- The whispery-voice one makes me want to scream.

• “Jason Kelce 'secretly looking into' bringing back iconic 'Backyard Sports' video games”- YES. Backyard Baseball was my jam.

  

• “McDonald’s Sued After Big Mac Almost Kills New York Man”- The sub-headline is: “The franchise is owned by polo-playing businessman Bruce Colley, who was accused of breaking up Andrew Cuomo’s first marriage.”

• “Indian Actress Poonam Pandy Fakes Cervical Cancer Death in Shocking Media Hoax”- Fire whatever brand people told you this was going to be a good plan.

• “FTX Says It Expects to Repay Customers in Full. Some Are Suing for More”- Greed and Web3 will always go hand in hand.

• “Killing The Messenger: My Final Days Working at a Disaster”- Media layoffs are reaching a new level of brutal.

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More Serious Stories

We realize some of these can be triggering for some readers, so feel free to skip! Also, sometimes we use weird letter subs so we’re not flagged as gross spam email.

• “Bud Light Is Partnering With a Comedian Who Was Fired From SNL for Anti-Gay Slurs”

• “How Two Single Moms Escaped an Alleged S3x-Trafficking Ring and Ultimately Saved Each Other”

• “These States Are Trying to Require Influencer Parents to Pay Their Kids”

• “YouTuber found buried in a couple’s backyard after disappearing on Christmas Day”

• “We Regret to Inform You That Chips Ahoy! Is Tweeting Like a Trans Person”

• “Washington Co. sheriff’s office sued again in bizarre catfish, murder, kidnapping case involving one of its deputies”

• “M@sturb@tion abstinence is popular online. Doctors and therapists are worried”

• “A woman stole a memory card from a truck. The gruesome footage is now key to an Alaska murder trial”

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P.S. While we’re obsessed with these stories, we don’t endorse any of these insane behaviors. 💋