Stolen monkeys, MILF Manor psychology & GoodRX did bad things 👀🍿🧃

Hi Wrecklings!

I saw this tweet yesterday and now I can’t stop thinking about it— his suggestions are also genius and worth checking out.

Dave Quinn@NineDaves

If they were still making TRUE LIFE episodes today, what would the episode titles be?

3:18 PM · Feb 7, 2023

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8 Reposts · 162 Likes

Also, in two weeks The Wreck List turns one! And yet, I still keep getting surprised by the breadth of the headlines I curate each week, like:

• ''How Lamborghini-driving grifter posing as a weed mogul swindled $35 million out of LA's elite from his Calabasas mansion - once owned by Kylie Jenner - to fund his lavish lifestyle before it all went up in smoke''- I feel like in bananas stories like this, it’s always weird details that are the most bizarre like his daughter owning a $300k horse or that he — “…opened a plastic surgery clinic in Manila - advertised with a giant billboard that read 'Miss Ugly No More’”

• “Meet The Woman Selling An Eye-Popping Crypto-Themed House For Just Under A Mil”- Come for the backstory behind the crypto house and stay for “Buffinz.” Which I just realized is a play on stud muffin?

• ''Stripper Web, a 20-year-old forum for s3x workers, is shutting down. No one knows why.''- Omg, I’m rooting for these folks teaching themselves Python to archive the site.

• ''MTA says it "clearly F-ed this one up" after typo spotted in Grand Central Station's new $11 billion terminal''- Well, that’s certainly one approach to a press statement.

• ''Mastercard’s NFT Leader Quits, Mints His Resignation Letter on the Way Out''- The line, “Continue to watch me get where I wasn’t allowed” is just 🔥.

• ''‘My Watch Thinks I’m Dead’- Dispatchers for 911 are being inundated with false, automated distress calls from Apple devices owned by skiers who are very much alive.''- It’s the modern-day parable— the Apple Watch that cried dead.

• ''Huge Dong Makes Appearance During Streaming Awards Show''- For those of y’all Mythic Quest fans, TTP was approximately 5 seconds.

• ''A 45-year-old biotech CEO may have reduced his biological age by at least 5 years through a rigorous medical program that can cost up to $2 million a year, Bloomberg reported''- His skin looks freaking fantastic. And this makes me feel less bad that I could never have this level of commitment (or uh, obviously the budget) to do this.

• ''The Man Arrested For Stealing Two Monkeys Has Been Connected To Two Other Recent Crimes At The Dallas Zoo''- A spree of monkey business, if you will.

• ''Lucky girl syndrome and the endless rebranding of “The Secret”''- If you’re looking to listen to a daily morning song, I highly recommend Snoop Doggs’ Affirmations Song.

• ''Is this the most impersonated woman in the world? Face of US-based model dubbed 'modern Helen of Troy' is 'used in THOUSANDS of fake social media accounts by West African scammers to target lonely men and steal from them', new BBC podcast claims''- Adding this to my podcast rotation immediately.

• ''Logan Paul Has Been Hit With A Class Action Lawsuit Over His Allegedly Fraudulent CryptoZoo NFT Project''- Ah yes, we get to see what happens when a snake and a dudebro (Grammarly said that’s one word) are spliced together.

• ''Inside Virtual Reality's Booming Underground S3x Scene''- Uh, so this is definitely a bizarre, NSFW read. Another great piece by Jessica Lucas, a favorite of The Wreck List!

• ''An NFT Guy Who Said A Car Crash Put Him In A Five-Month Coma Was Making The Whole Thing Up''- Ok, I’m grabbing some popcorn and reading this report because daaaang, he did his research.

• ''‘De-influencing' Is Going Viral. What Does This Mean for the Future of Influencers?''- Hopefully a return to more quality content like OMG Shoes.

• ''Chinese influencer Tizi fined after eating protected great white shark on video''- Saying the video “shows off the shark, which is about the same size as her, and then cooks and eats it” leaves me with a lot of questions.

• ''16 Influencers Who Are More Out-Of-Touch Than They'd Ever Want You To Know''- This is one giant list of people who don’t think.

• Updates on the scandalous media outlet sphere:

  • ''National Enquirer, Scandal-Plagued Tabloid, to Be Sold''

  • ''Gawker Is Shutting Down For a Second Time''

• In case you thought you were safe from more headlines about the 14 porcupines in a sweater vest, psych!

  • ''Surprising No One, George Santos Is A Disney Adult''

  • ''Rep. George Santos’ campaign paid for legal services, Italian food amid scandal''

• ''The McKinsey consulting scandal you might not have heard about''- While there was a moment of confusion, I realized that Purdue is Big Pharma and Perdue is Big Farma. 🐔🥁💥

• ''Is CBD in trouble?''- …I definitely just learned it wasn’t regulated by the FDA…

• ''GoodRx made money off your health data. The FTC is making it pay''- Not surprised, but disappointed. Officially going to look into using Mark Cuban’s prescription store. ← ha, guess who almost linked to her brand of antidepressants 🙇🏼‍♀️.

• ''The death of the customer service hotline''- It’s also wild that for the customer service lines that still exist, the hold music is incomprehensibly SO BAD. The other day a company literally had the “I’m On Hold” song as the default and it was absolutely. rage. inducing.

• ''Why Do People Believe Everything They Watch on TikTok?''- I’m cackling at this “throwback to men not knowing we had to peel off layers of skin after our periods” video, but I have admittedly started taking probiotics because TikTok told me to.

• ''We Asked a Psychoanalyst What Freud Would Think of ‘MILF Manor’''- This is a show that will age like all these on the reality-shows-that-shouldn’t-have-been-made list.

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More Serious Stories

We realize some of these can be triggering for some readers, so feel free to skip! Also, sometimes we use weird letter subs so we’re not flagged as gross spam email.

• ''Mucinex mascot ‘Mr.Mucus’ has officially become a s3x symbol''- Not really serious but I lost my appetite while reading this over breakfast so, it goes here.

• ''Barstool’s Dave Portnoy Quits Chasing Appeal of Insider Defamation Suit''

• ''A TikToker Faked Having Cancer And Scammed GoFundMe Donors Out Of Thousands, Police Say''

• ''Satanic Temple launches abortion clinic named after Catholic Supreme Court justice''

• ''Cops Seemingly Put a Fake MLK Quote on a Cruiser to Celebrate Black History Month''

• ''AI-Generated 'Seinfeld' Show Banned on Twitch After Transphobic Standup Bit''

• ''Activision-Blizzard Fined $35 Million for Not Disclosing S3xu@l Harassment''

• ''The Animal Sacrificing White Supremacists''

• ''Preacher Accused of Enabling Pedophile at Creationist ‘Dino’ Theme Park''

• ''Dances With Wolves star Nathan Chasing Horse had trained his five wives to use firearms to 'shoot it out' with cops if they tried to 'break their family apart': He is due to face a judge today on s3x abuse charges''

• ''Netflix's new hit comedy You People starring Jonah Hill and Eddie Murphy is branded 'horribly damaging' to Jewish people for pushing stereotypes of them being 'white, privileged and racist'''

• ''Deepfake Porn Creator Deletes Internet Presence After Tearful 'Atrioc' Apology''

• ''A Judge Just Used ChatGPT to Make a Court Decision''

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P.S. While we’re obsessed with these stories, we don’t endorse any of these insane behaviors. 💋