Taco Bell debauchery, Cybertruck drives into the ocean & the wooly mammoth returns (maybe) 👀🍿🧃
Hi Wrecklings!
This week has me counting the weeks until Season 2 of Dr. Death— and grumpy that Spotify Wrapped is crashing. $5 the song TikTok tricked me into thinking was viral is on my top-listened list— which, I uphold, it is a bop and should be the next Baby Shark.
Also, had a total pre-holiday brain fart last week, **xylitol is the super poisonous sweetener for dogs, rather than aspartame. Mkkaaaaay, so:
''CZ, founder of crypto giant Binance, pleads guilty to money laundering violations''- This should have gone in last week’s newsletter but then holiday brain happened.
“QAnon Queen Cult Leader Returns to Small Town That Thought It Drove Her Away”- Well, that relief was short-lived.
“Google Drive users angry over losing months of stored data”- Excuse me while I download all of my important documents…
“Tech 'Unicorn' That Raised Millions for 'Reinventing' Walls Is Shutting Down”- TK
“Liquid Death Changes Name of Armless Palmer After Lawsuit Threat”- For those of you not following me on Instagram already, I have a very one-sided beef with this brand.
“Employee SUES Taco Bell, Says Staff Holiday Party Turned Into Drunken 0rgy!”- Imagine going to get some guacamole out of the car and coming back to such a vibe change…
“U.S. Soldiers Are Exposing Barracks Full of Mold, Bed Bugs, and Unsafe Food With a New App”- Omg.
''Woolly Mammoth de-extinction project underway in Dallas''- Ah yes, I’ve seen this movie before, it did not go well.
''Tesla spotted driving Cybertruck into ocean after claiming it will float''- Very curious about whether this will actually manage to float.
''TikTok influencer condemned by fans for fake face tattoo prank''- Proceed with caution— this entire story is so dumb.
''An agency created an AI model who earns up to $11,000 a month because it was tired of influencers 'who have egos'''- Problem solved!
''Dad Tells Influencer Daughter, 15, She Can't Access Income Until 18 as Her Siblings Only Make 'Pocket Money'''- Admittedly this would be something I’d be furious about as a teen and then years later, grateful I wasn’t able to spend it on stupid nonsense.
''Hall Is Suing Oates. Over What Is a Mystery.''- I didn’t realize how great their founding story was!
''Tree House Brewing Co. sued by minority shareholder in Massachusetts court''- This is definitely niche but super delicious New England drama.
''NVIDIA sued for stealing trade secrets after screensharing blunder showed rival company's code''- Uhm, oops.
''Tesla sues Swedish government after postal workers allegedly block license plate deliveries''- I respect this level of petty chaos.
More Serious Stories
We realize some of these can be triggering for some readers, so feel free to skip! Also, sometimes we use weird letter subs so we’re not flagged as gross spam email.
''Why So Many Powerful Men Were Just Sued for S3xual Assault''
''Mean girl fitness influencers canceled for savagely teasing man at the gym: ‘Disgusting’''
''Wealthy Westerner turns birth tourism into status symbol, ignites outrage over ‘privilege’''
“Korean True Crime Fan Who Murdered Tutor 'Out of Curiosity' Sentenced to Life in Prison”
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P.S. While we’re obsessed with these stories, we don’t endorse any of these insane behaviors. 💋