Taco Bell debauchery, Cybertruck drives into the ocean & the wooly mammoth returns (maybe) 👀🍿🧃
This week has me counting the weeks until Season 2 of Dr. Death— and grumpy that Spotify Wrapped is crashing. $5 the song TikTok tricked me into thinking was viral is on my top-listened list— which, I uphold, it is a bop and should be the next Baby Shark.
Also, had a total pre-holiday brain fart last week, **xylitol is the super poisonous sweetener for dogs, rather than aspartame. Mkkaaaaay, so:
''CZ, founder of crypto giant Binance, pleads guilty to money laundering violations''- This should have gone in last week’s newsletter but then holiday brain happened.
“QAnon Queen Cult Leader Returns to Small Town That Thought It Drove Her Away”- Well, that relief was short-lived.
“Google Drive users angry over losing months of stored data”- Excuse me while I download all of my important documents…
“Liquid Death Changes Name of Armless Palmer After Lawsuit Threat”- For those of you not following me on Instagram already, I have a very one-sided beef with this brand.
“Employee SUES Taco Bell, Says Staff Holiday Party Turned Into Drunken 0rgy!”- Imagine going to get some guacamole out of the car and coming back to such a vibe change…
''Woolly Mammoth de-extinction project underway in Dallas''- Ah yes, I’ve seen this movie before, it did not go well.
''Tesla spotted driving Cybertruck into ocean after claiming it will float''- Very curious about whether this will actually manage to float.
''TikTok influencer condemned by fans for fake face tattoo prank''- Proceed with caution— this entire story is so dumb.
''Dad Tells Influencer Daughter, 15, She Can't Access Income Until 18 as Her Siblings Only Make 'Pocket Money'''- Admittedly this would be something I’d be furious about as a teen and then years later, grateful I wasn’t able to spend it on stupid nonsense.
''Hall Is Suing Oates. Over What Is a Mystery.''- I didn’t realize how great their founding story was!
''Tree House Brewing Co. sued by minority shareholder in Massachusetts court''- This is definitely niche but super delicious New England drama.
''Tesla sues Swedish government after postal workers allegedly block license plate deliveries''- I respect this level of petty chaos.
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