Hi Wrecklings!

Am I the only one that still has IT’S CORN stuck in my head? We also can’t get over the internet calling out Leonardo DiCaprio for having just broken up with his girlfriend… uhm, only two months after she turned 25. The internet totally saw this coming too, even charting the ages of Leo’s exes. Insane findings.

Sarah Lerner @SarahLerner

This Leonardo DiCaprio graph where he continues to get older and his girlfriends never age above 25 lives rent-free in my head.

12:14 AM ∙ Aug 31, 2022

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While doom-scrolling last night, we also saw tweets about The Wing emailing its members about closing down (effective immediately)— so we obviously wrote about it. Goodbye to the girlboss headquarters— the racism won’t be missed.

Here are the other scandal and shenanigans of the week:

• “‘Inventing Anna’ Ignites Defamation Suit Against Netflix”- Can’t say I blame Rachel for this lawsuit, especially that she was the only one with a character with her same name and biographical details.

• “He Fraudulently Got Three Tom Brady Super Bowl Rings. Now, He’s Got Three Years in Prison”- I’m always impressed at the ingenuity of some of these scammers— but they still suck.

• “Is J.Lo Guilty of Astrology-Based Workplace Discrimination?”- So according to a lawyer friend, as long as J.Lo dismissed all the Virgos, it’s not discrimination,

• “‘Girls Who Code’ Team Up With Tomahawk Missile Maker Raytheon”- Seems like this unusual partnership is already four years old but I still feel some kind of way about it.

• “Christian Meme Pages Are Protesting The New Admins Of A Beloved Account”- I’m trying to imagine what the content of a “Christian meme illuminati group chat” looks like, but I can’t even start to comprehend.

• “Kim Kardashian And Several Other Celebrities Are Facing Backlash After A Report Revealed How Much They’ve Exceeded Their Home Water Limits Amid The California Drought”- It’s genuinely perplexing how a celeb couple can use 489,000 gallons of water in ONE MONTH. Are you maintaining a rainforest in the middle of LA?

• “White House shines light on Republicans who are criticizing student debt cancellation after getting their PPP loans forgiven”- We love a social media manager that pulls no punches.

maybe: diane @dianelyssa

the person who wrote the white house “this you” thread used to run the twitter account for the state of new jersey omg 😭 there’s a living legend in the oval office!!!!!!!!!

12:41 AM ∙ Aug 26, 2022

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• “OnlyFans star’s meet-and-greet event descends into chaos, shut down by cops”- This entire story is chaotic, I admittedly didn’t think that someone billed as an OnlyFans star would also have a massive teen fanbase?

• “Meet ‘The Island Boys,' the controversial TikTokers who keep feuding with social media stars and celebrities”- These twins are wearing corona-virus-looking-hair and going full goblin-mode on everyone— while hanging out with a murderer?

• “A famous internet 'troll' faces frightening harassment as she's about to give birth”- I’m fascinated by subreddits dedicated to snarking on specific influencers. We’re fully committed to drama (ahem, this newsletter) but it seems like a whole other level to actively snark on someone you’ve (likely) never met?

• “‘No training, no communication, no anything’: Former Crumbl Cookies employee shares ‘horrible’ work experience”- Sounds like a crumby experience.

• “Experts Alarmed By Teen Breeding Millions of Frogs for 'Frog Army'- 'I wanted to create the largest frog army in history'“- Call me lazy but he probably could have assembled like, five frogs, and still had the largest frog army in history?

• “We Spoke to the Actual Artist Behind FN Meka, the Controversial AI Rapper”- The founding team behind this AI-generated character sounds like trash. Having their character beaten by police officers in prison? Thanks, we hate it. Fortunately Capitol has already dropped FN Meka.

• “Tesla demands viral video of its cars hitting child-sized mannequins gets taken down. Tech CEO who funded it refuses, calls Musk a 'crybaby.'”- Ok, but *WHO* is putting their kids in front of Teslas to prove these tests are wrong. Because I don’t have that much confidence in Tesla and I’m on the Cybertruck waitlist.

Houndstooth_Belle @Bama_Sass

My grandfather’s #TeslaPlaid caught fire. The computer said the left motor malfunctioned, but said the car was drivable & not to exceed 65mph After driving 2 miles at 16-18mph the car caught fire. The car was only 13 months & only covered 9,000 mph @elonmusk @Tesla

3:14 PM ∙ Aug 27, 2022

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• “Nick Cannon Announced That He's Expecting Another Baby, Less Than A Month After Welcoming His Eighth Child”- He’s at TEN children now, which feels like the the celebrity version of your old classmate from high school that just keeps having kids.

Old Miami @flyChy

Who knew when National Geographic said that this is what the average American would look like in 2050 it’s because we would all be descendants of Nick Cannon.

3:41 AM ∙ Aug 25, 2022

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• “Bright Lights, Big City, Niche Fame”- To preface I HATED, not even love-hated, but actually H.A.T.E.D. this article. Because I literally, do. not. understand. how this woman got an entire freaking feature about herself. There are literally hundreds of more interesting publicists. But maybe that’s the point, that she’s that weirdly connected — and for that reason, it’s in here. But I hate it.

• “The TikTok Lesbian Breakup Apocalypse Is Upon Us”- Everyone’s posting on TikTok about their breakups recently, so heartbreak all around!

• “How one TikToker convinced folks he was an AI-generated character”- Ok, this one is WILD. I was entirely fooled by this one. The double-gotcha gave me whiplash.

More Serious Stories

We realize some of these can be triggering for some readers, so feel free to skip!

• “Gun Sellers Push Quick Buy Now, Pay Later Financing”

• “Demi Lovato Drops Major Bombshells During ‘Call Her Daddy’ Tell-All: From Addiction to Disney Secrets”

• “The Glee Project' Alums Call Out 'Traumatic' Treatment and 'Boot Camp'-Like Conditions: 'We Were Children'“

• “Shortly After The Release Of Jennette McCurdy's Bombshell Memoir, "Zoey 101" Alum Alexa Nikolas Protested Outside Nickelodeon”

• “Predatory loan apps in India rake in huge fees, and are driving some users to suicide”

• “Wendy Williams 'Left To Die' By Ex-Financial Adviser Amid Wells Fargo Battle?!”

• “‘Scary easy. Sketchy as hell.’: How startups are pushing Adderall on TikTok”

• “Sackler Family Secrets: New Book Reveals OxyContin Heirs’ Self-Pitying Emails”

• “Simon Cowell's company may be hit with multimillion-dollar lawsuit from former X Factor contestants who say appearing on the talent show was a 'horrific experience', report says”-

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P.S. While we’re obsessed with these stories, we don’t endorse any of these insane behaviors. 💋